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Refresh

Let’s talk about how long it’s been since I posted.  I had to reset my password on my WordPress account because I couldn’t remember my login.

Yikes, guys.  It’s been a while.

Here I am, 6 months after my most recent post, wondering where time has gone and how I’ve gone so long without posting.

So what have I been up to? Traveling to visit family and friends. Enjoying my summer. Enjoying my new house. Recovering from traveling and my summer and the move into the new house. Avoiding the internet and the trolls who post hateful, hurtful things about our LEOs. Spending my evenings in survival mode as I continue to muster through a very stressful year at work- opting to completely check out with a glass of wine (oh, so much wine).

I miss the blog, I really do. The thing is, I just truly haven’t had the energy or the inspiration in months. All of that energy was being consumed by other things, and I had to reserve what little I had left for my daughter, for my family, and even sometimes, just for myself.

Part of me feels like this was the time I should have been stepping up and posting. This was the time that we as LEO supporters needed to come together, to speak out, to know that we’re not alone. We needed people to voice positives instead of the negatives. We needed people to speak truths instead of rhetoric and lies.

I’ll admit, there were times I wanted to tell JD to quit. To let someone else take on that burden. Our officers are being attacked, hunted, and gunned down simply for wearing a uniform and a badge, not just on the job, but sometimes in their own homes. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, this happened and I felt broken on a whole new level. She wasn’t just a member of the LEO community. She was a mother– a mother who didn’t get to take her baby home from the hospital. Every time I think about it, my heart breaks all over again.

But, we are not a community of quitters. We are passionate about what our partners do; we recognize their calling. We agreed to this knowing the sacrifice, the struggles, and the worry that would come with it. We acknowledge the need for our good men and women to stand strong and represent our community, even when it seems the good stories aren’t the ones being shared. Even when it feels like the tides have shifted and we’re viewed as the enemy.

We’re still here and I’m still here. So now feels like a good time to hit refresh- on the blog and on life. For now, I look forward to life getting back to the mundane, for a quiet holiday season spent at home, and hopefully a blog post once in a while.

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