I think every mom reaches a point where she has to say “screw it.” The little things that used to be so worrisome just can’t be a big deal anymore because you’ve run out of time and patience.
Not sure if Loralai is teething or just feeling a little under the weather, but she’s been having a rough week. Last night she was particularly fussy when we were trying to eat dinner, that is until she noticed the dog bone sitting on the other side of the room. I generally keep her away from the dog toys, especially because she likes to put them in her mouth, but last night, I just didn’t have the energy to care anymore. She has learned the word “no,” so I was ready to give her a firm “Loralai, no” as she made a beeline for the bone, but then I thought of her reaction- her head dropping in defeat, the wail of disappointment, turning to face us with the look that seems to say you’ve ruined my life. The dog toy placated her; she was finally quiet and we could finally eat dinner in peace. I shrugged and thought to myself whatever makes her happy. (Side note: She had a pacifier in, so she didn’t put the dog toy in her mouth this time, if it makes you feel any better.) (Side side note: I’d like to know why she has a bucket of toys, but she’ll ditch those in a heartbeat if a dog toy is nearby. Family take note: Loralai’s Christmas shopping should be done at Petsmart.)
For the first time ever, I let her “cry it out” the other night. Until recently, she fell asleep fairly effortlessly. Since she became mobile, she’s had more and more trouble falling asleep, seemingly because she can’t hold still long enough to relax. She’s too busy crawling around her crib, pulling her pacifier out and crying, grasping at the side of the crib and pulling herself up. The old standbys don’t work- reading books, rocking in the glider, cuddles on the couch. All useless. She reached for the books, squirmed in the rocker, and tried to crawl over us on the couch. Finally, a few nights ago, I decided I had no more patience for the fussing and squirming. I put her in her crib and I let her cry.
It was the worst 3 minutes of my life.
I had to close the door to her room, our room, and turn on the TV to drown out her fussing, but it only took a few minutes. The next time I checked on her, she was slumped over her blanket, snoozing away (I did move her to a more comfortable position).
Silence is beautiful.